Forgiving can sometimes seem impossible. Some crimes just are so egregious we really struggle to find a way to forgive the perpetrator, right? If someone is so completely “wrong” then why should I forgive him or her? What if they just keep doing the same awful things again and again – how can I forgive that?

Take a moment to think about what the word forgiveness means to you. What is your definition of forgiving?

The New Oxford American Dictionary that is built right into my MacBook defines forgiveness as: to stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

Now let this definition sink in a minute. Forgiveness means to stop feeling angry. What a great idea that is! What if we re-phrase the question “Can I forgive him/her?” and instead ask “Would I like to stop being angry?” The answer is almost always YES! Of course, this is easier said than done. Forgiving may require learning new skills to process anger until we are left with peaceful feelings – but it’s worth it!
Read more of Forgiveness: The Ultimate Act of Self-Care

TO DO lists help us remember and get things done.But have you noticed that often these lists are ever present in our minds?We’re always wondering what to do next, what we forgot to do, and what we need to add to the list?

How might it be if instead we were vigilant about a TO BE list?

Be present
Be compassionate
Be peaceful
Be joyful
Be alert

A TO BE list is not a list to check off the way we mark things DONE on a TO DO list, because Being is never done.We use the list to clarify our intentions for the NOW rather than to evaluate past performance.Our TO BE list reminds us of the choices we have every moment and inspires us to always put our best feet forward.In the words of the late Coach John Wooden, “It isn’t what you do, but how you do it.”

Choosing How to BE is perhaps more subjective than choosing What to DO and it’s more powerful in terms of quality of life. For example, charging ahead on a TO DO list frequently results in feeling rushed and overwhelmed, not enjoying the doing. In consciously choosing a state of Being like BE Alert, you will be surprised and enriched as you notice things unnoticed before. Choosing to BE Compassionate, many ordinary conversations become rich and meaningful.

Are you ready to really enjoy Getting Things Done? After all, you’ll be doing things on the list anyway, right? Try lining up your TO BE list right next to your TO DO list. Whenever you decide on the next thing to do, ask yourself “How will I BE in the doing of this?”

For example, if you need to contact a company about an error in your order, how do you want to be as you do it? Open? Relaxed? Understanding? Clear? If laundry is next, how do you want to be in the doing of it? Calm? Mindful? Playful?

Hint: Things like “BE productive” “BE perfect” violate the spirit of the TO BE list. BE careful what you choose to BE!

“I didn’t make any mistakes,
I just know a thousand ways not to make a light bulb.”
—- Thomas Edison

Looking for the life lessons in our challenging circumstances isn’t always easy, for sure. However when we do, we capture the gems of our lives that may have gone unnoticed. Sometimes, just facing the challenge is the lesson – we learn how to persevere.

Wishing you a Mindful Mother’s Day! Whether you are spending time with your Mother, with your children, with your spouse, with your friends, with your pets, at work, time alone, or all of the above, you may find the following meditation practice helpful in experiencing greater joy and peace, no matter what your mothering experiences have been. This practice can be particularly helpful for those who have some pain associated with motherhood, perhaps loss of a mother or loss of a child, or painful relationship issues.

This is the practice of Metta, which means Lovingkindness. What better way to describe the qualities of true mother-nature? Loving…kind…nurturing. To begin the meditation, take several slow deep breaths and let go of mental and physical tension on each outbreath. Make a conscious choice to set aside judgments, release all past stories about being a mother or having a mother and embrace the qualities of this meditation, even if it is just for now.

This abbreviated version of the original Metta meditation is simple, sweet, and powerful. We start by mothering ourselves, blessing ourselves with lovingkindness so that we have lovingkindness to share.

Slowly and peacefully, say silently or out loud:

May I be safe.
May I be happy.
May I be well.
May I be free.
Read more of Mother’s Day Mindfulness Meditation

Because of human conditioning to be mentally ‘anywhere but here’, we find it isn’t easy to simply be present. But when we can have just one moment of acceptance of ‘what is’, one moment of internal silence, one moment of mindfulness, one moment in the Now, there is an indescribable peace that we recognize as wisdom and truth.

Thursday, April 29 is Poem in Your Pocket Day. Here’s the one I’ll be carrying:

‘Tis a gift to be simple,
‘Tis a gift to be free,
‘Tis a gift to come down
Where we ought to be
And when we find ourselves
In the place that’s right
‘Twill be in the valley
Of love and delight.

–Nineteenth-Century Shaker Hymn

What’s your favorite poem?

“Most people have heard of protons, neutrons, and electrons – the subatomic particles that compose atoms (there are actually many, many more particles) – but they don’t realize what they look like and how far apart they are. If a proton were the size of a grape, then an electron would be smaller than the thickness of a hair and approximately two miles away from the proton. That’s how much space is between them inside an atom, and atoms are what your body is made of. At this quantum level, reality is mostly empty space… we are mostly empty space.” David R. Hamilton, Ph.D.

Inspired by the words on my tea bag today: Where there is love, there is no question.

I agree with Jacob Glass that gratitude is the mind’s natural anti-depressant. “Gratitude is spitting in the eye of the ego. It’s throwing a bucket of water on the wicked witch….If you never remembered any other spiritual practice in your life, gratitude would be enough.” (from his new book The Crabby Angels Chronicles“.

Got Goals? Stay motivated by focusing on your values and intentions!

We are all values-driven, meaning we seek to live a life that is aligned with our most important values.When you set a goal, make sure achieving it will be an expression of your deeply held values.First, identify your highest values.Then, determine how each of your goals will be an expression of your values.

For example, if your goal is to own a home this year and you highly value relationship, personal growth, and leadership, consider all the ways owning a home aligns with your values:Will it enhance your relationships?How does owning a home support your personal growth?Will achieving this goal provide opportunities for leadership?By tying the goal to as many values as possible, you add strength to your motivation.On the other hand, by doing this exercise you may discover that the goal does not align with your vision of your true self!You may also get a clearer picture of goals you do want to attain. Read more of Values-driven motivation – Mindfulness & Goal Setting