Tis the season to be jolly!  Jolly crazy that is, when it comes to all the tasks before us, especially women as we approach the holidays.   In this article, you will be encouraged to go through the holidays more mindfully and with less stress so that your experience is one of greater peace and joy.  Isn’t that the true meaning of these holidays – Giving Thanks & Peace on Earth?

So how is it that women find themselves anything but peaceful during the holidays?  We are normally busy doing for others, right?  Well, it’s just that we find that during the next few months, it will be “Doing-for-others on steroids”.  Yes, it’s shop ’til you drop, but we’re not talking about fun outings to buy new clothes.  We’re talking about major grocery shopping, and gift buying galore for family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, and even our cherished service providers (don’t forget the dog walker!)

If this is the year you’ve decided to trim back and not buy so many gifts, you’ll still find yourself writing cards or baking something nice for many of the people you love.  Which brings up all the other extra activities that women DO during the holidays – travel arrangements, preparing the house for guests, meal planning, cooking, baking, etc.  Oh and did I mention decorating?  Pull out all the boxes from the attic or garage or basement, select, and place.  And then there’s the tree…….( Don’t forget taking it all down and putting it away, too. )

Well, you know we do all this because we enjoy it.  That is true.  We love creating warm and loving environments for our families and friends.  And we love the parties and gift giving.  It’s all good, right?

Or is it?  How about some tips from a Life Coach for Women on how to keep it from being ‘all stress’.

1) TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF EVERY DAY. This is not the time to stop your exercise routine.  And it’s certainly not the time to slack off on your meditation.

2) SLOW DOWN!  Even if it’s just a tiny bit. Practice mindfulness, living in the moment, by slowing down as  you do each holiday task.  Focus and stay in the moment of what you are doing, not jumping ahead to the list of all the things you must do next.  This way, you will really reap all the benefit of enjoying the season.

3) REMIND YOURSELF EACH DAY OF WHY you are doing the preparations and shopping, etc.  If you are not doing these things out of love and joy, then stop.  Maybe there are some things you could let go of, or replace with things you WANT to do from love.

4)  LET GO OF PERFECTION.  There is no such thing.  Need I say more?

5) LIGHTEN UP AND LAUGH OFTEN.  If you can, make it a practice to laugh several times each hour.  Even if you are laughing at how silly it is to try to laugh every hour.  This is a life coach for women mindfulness practice you won’t want to quit.

Blessings for a peaceful holiday!

We have all been advised to smile – that we can make someone’s day brighter by offering a smile.  And if we smile, people may be more open and cooperative.  These are good reasons to smile, and this article is about the real power of of smiles.  Smiling has the power to transform you, not just a power to effect others responses to you.

It has been scientifically proven that movement of the body effects our mood.  There are the well known studies on how running or other aerobic exercise produces endorphins which uplifts the mood.  In fact, exercise is one of the best natural remedies for depression.  And then of course, there’s the practice of yoga, which has been scientifically studied for years.  Yoga practice improves health, and yoga movement has a definite impact on mood.

So what about the very simple subtle body movements?  What about a smile or a frown?  This tip from a personal life coach for women is to smile often and here’s why.

We normally think of these movements as being caused by our mood, rather than the other way around.  But if you study the eastern religions you will find that many of these spiritual teachers incorporate subtle body position as a spiritual practice.  For example, keeping the back straight during meditation helps with clarity.  Having eyes focused slightly downward allows for minimal mental agitation without going to sleep.  These subtle movements make a difference on mood and consciousness.

Is there an impact of the subtle movement of a smile? Tich Nhat Hanh, well known Zen monk and author of over 50 books on mindfulness practice and meditation, includes the instruction of a slight smile as part of the meditation posture.  His teaches that when we move our lips into a slight smile,  regardless of our current mood,  our consciousness is shifted and elevated.  The movement creates an Inner Smile, the ability to smile at life, welcoming it with gentleness.  And this has a major impact on our consciousness.

So it is that just the simple movement of turning up the corners of your mouth in a smile will impact how you feel.  It will shift your consciousness to peace and joy, even if ever so slightly.  The states of joy and peace then have a positive effect on your health.  And the more you practice it, the more readily it will shift.  The best part about the mindfulness practice of smiling is that you can do it anywhere.  Like focusing on your breath, it is something you can do in any moment to create that shift in consciousness.

And isn’t that one of the reasons we meditate?  Most who seek a life coach for women, are wanting to return to the inner peace or one’s true nature, which is gentle, loving and peaceful.  Now that’s something to smile about!

Forgiving can sometimes seem impossible. Some crimes just are so egregious we really struggle to find a way to forgive the perpetrator, right? If someone is so completely “wrong” then why should I forgive him or her? What if they just keep doing the same awful things again and again – how can I forgive that?

Take a moment to think about what the word forgiveness means to you. What is your definition of forgiving?

The New Oxford American Dictionary that is built right into my MacBook defines forgiveness as: to stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

Now let this definition sink in a minute. Forgiveness means to stop feeling angry. What a great idea that is! What if we re-phrase the question “Can I forgive him/her?” and instead ask “Would I like to stop being angry?” The answer is almost always YES! Of course, this is easier said than done. Forgiving may require learning new skills to process anger until we are left with peaceful feelings – but it’s worth it!
Read more of Forgiveness: The Ultimate Act of Self-Care

TO DO lists help us remember and get things done.But have you noticed that often these lists are ever present in our minds?We’re always wondering what to do next, what we forgot to do, and what we need to add to the list?

How might it be if instead we were vigilant about a TO BE list?

Be present
Be compassionate
Be peaceful
Be joyful
Be alert

A TO BE list is not a list to check off the way we mark things DONE on a TO DO list, because Being is never done.We use the list to clarify our intentions for the NOW rather than to evaluate past performance.Our TO BE list reminds us of the choices we have every moment and inspires us to always put our best feet forward.In the words of the late Coach John Wooden, “It isn’t what you do, but how you do it.”

Choosing How to BE is perhaps more subjective than choosing What to DO and it’s more powerful in terms of quality of life. For example, charging ahead on a TO DO list frequently results in feeling rushed and overwhelmed, not enjoying the doing. In consciously choosing a state of Being like BE Alert, you will be surprised and enriched as you notice things unnoticed before. Choosing to BE Compassionate, many ordinary conversations become rich and meaningful.

Are you ready to really enjoy Getting Things Done? After all, you’ll be doing things on the list anyway, right? Try lining up your TO BE list right next to your TO DO list. Whenever you decide on the next thing to do, ask yourself “How will I BE in the doing of this?”

For example, if you need to contact a company about an error in your order, how do you want to be as you do it? Open? Relaxed? Understanding? Clear? If laundry is next, how do you want to be in the doing of it? Calm? Mindful? Playful?

Hint: Things like “BE productive” “BE perfect” violate the spirit of the TO BE list. BE careful what you choose to BE!

“Most people have heard of protons, neutrons, and electrons – the subatomic particles that compose atoms (there are actually many, many more particles) – but they don’t realize what they look like and how far apart they are. If a proton were the size of a grape, then an electron would be smaller than the thickness of a hair and approximately two miles away from the proton. That’s how much space is between them inside an atom, and atoms are what your body is made of. At this quantum level, reality is mostly empty space… we are mostly empty space.” David R. Hamilton, Ph.D.

I agree with Jacob Glass that gratitude is the mind’s natural anti-depressant. “Gratitude is spitting in the eye of the ego. It’s throwing a bucket of water on the wicked witch….If you never remembered any other spiritual practice in your life, gratitude would be enough.” (from his new book The Crabby Angels Chronicles“.

Got Goals? Stay motivated by focusing on your values and intentions!

We are all values-driven, meaning we seek to live a life that is aligned with our most important values.When you set a goal, make sure achieving it will be an expression of your deeply held values.First, identify your highest values.Then, determine how each of your goals will be an expression of your values.

For example, if your goal is to own a home this year and you highly value relationship, personal growth, and leadership, consider all the ways owning a home aligns with your values:Will it enhance your relationships?How does owning a home support your personal growth?Will achieving this goal provide opportunities for leadership?By tying the goal to as many values as possible, you add strength to your motivation.On the other hand, by doing this exercise you may discover that the goal does not align with your vision of your true self!You may also get a clearer picture of goals you do want to attain. Read more of Values-driven motivation – Mindfulness & Goal Setting

Mindfulness of the body:  I’ve recently learned from Katy Santiago of www.RestorativeExercise.com that over time, our minds may very well trick us into thinking our posture is good even when it’s not.  The impact of this is profound since posture has everything to do with longevity.  What’s important to note here is that we need to always question our beliefs, what we think, because it may not be reality at all.

Phoebe Chongchua, Editor of LifeFitMagazine.com, spoke with Brook around New Year’s about Setting Intentions.  You can listen to the interview here and learn some strategies to gain clarity, joy and meaning in your life!  Self Improvement never seemed like so much fun!

If you are ready to re-vision your life and need some coaching, you can experience Brook’s work by listening in on Ring In 2009!  Any day is a good day for personal growth!